Stars Hollow Blues

Hello world,

Today is cold day - I decided to not wake up and go to college, an excellent idea as these always turn out to be inspite of the fact that I'd be missing double lectures bla bla - there's also the little thing called winter dressing, see when you leave your home early in the morning it's all cold and windy and you want to wear everything possible; then in the metro, which is centrally heated (and crowded) it gets warm and your sweater begins pricking your back, but by the time you reach university its cold again, and the rickshaw ride is freezing. As the day wears on it gets warmer till you have to take off atleast one layer and once your home, it's cold again but one can wear any old thing. So basically it's a lot of planning and today I wans't upto it, you know I'm kidding when I say things like this right?

So I've been reading Everything is Illuminated, which is interesting to say the least, and writing technique wise brilliant, but even though I'm reading it, not really enjoying it, especially since this guy's a prodigy and every single critic says he's not overrated. I liked his second book better, which moved me tremendously.

Also read Breakfast at Tiffany's which by the waw I had no idea was a novella by Truman Capote, yes of Capote the movie fame. Now that was a fun book, oddly suspenseful, and she (Holly Golightly, the belle of NY) mentions, that Nehru is her type of man. (!!!)

Felt like making brownies today, and went all enthu and all to pull out the cocoa and brown sugar etc, but there was noMaida, which was fine because to be homnest I didn't really feel like baking, I just missed it.

Instead I am eating parle g biscuits which are as good.

More later, ponchos aren't condusive to typing.

Another Chapter in the book of Cell phone Drafts.

(This is not writing, it’s learning how to write but mostly I just want to tell you these things)


To go above and beyond what he could ever expect, to make a grand gesture, to dramatise the surroundings, to make a point of it. The gravity of the thought stayed with her, and excited her so much that she stopped her work and sat down to explore its depth, Where would she stay? How would be look? What would she say? When will he ask her? and so on. It takes off then, this galloping, all encompassing, deliriously colourful and hopeful world, it fills up her day, and when she pauses to trace back the cause of this vague contentedness, it’s only too obvious. Dreams tend to be that way. Cause she has already done so much and had been so many people, how’s she ever going to top it? The feeling that nothing will be the same again, in a lucky, positive flourish that changes the realities of existence, the practicalities of a routine, and builds in its place a fondness, a nostalgia for what is lost.

On a unimaginable scale, that’ll require numbers not yet discovered to tabulate it, lens powerful enough to capture it lie yet undiscovered, hidden in chemical codes of silver evaporating, aluminium, bromide and we haven’t made it just yet - a canvas big enough, to hold that pulsating growing hideous mass of thoughts continuously extracted that make up the parallel worlds in our heads.

If only things were that easy, to break them up into seasons, into terms and when one is desperate before exams, sick with worry, with guilt and self loathing, our writers disappoint us, glossing over, pushing all that tension into one flippant sentence. For as long as I can remember I’ve been reading novel after novel before the most crucial, supposedly paramount, exams of my life. I want long in-depth discourses into this distraction, this preoccupation, this inability to focus, yet they all seem to have just a page or two on it, I want to read a whole book about just the last twenty four hours before a test, so that I can viscously, sickeningly, put my teeth into in, and hold on desperately while my own deadline approaches closer.

As for those people that authors thank on the first and last pages of their books - my heart wells up with jealousy; possessiveness creeps in as the tale gets going, I want to be there, by his side, for him to consider me beautiful, to inspire the writing, the greatness, the most wonderful literary-ness, which so many have rediscovered time and again, and it forms an exclusiveness which is far from elite, it is the very pulse of our temples, of our language, or the vast filing cabinets in our heads. To be there while she writes, talking things out, dreaming things up, sorting out erased memories and engineered ones; and it overtakes me, this urge to know them, to be near them, and I think, how can they not know? How can they not feel this power, that seems to have consumed every facility of my being? And I can’t bear it anymore.

If the voice is not given any air, no gentle flap to encourage the cinder, it dies suffocating on its insecurity, on its unsteady beginnings, and I find myself utterly unable to write. Let that never happen, let there always be an avalanche of words - however unworthy, however cringe worthy, and may I never settle, never fully understand, but always try and try and try. If only you spare five minutes, to make a genuine recommendation, or a heartfelt critique, dismiss with style my inaptitude, with significance; I could travel far, very far. For the people I want most to be read by, I can’t let them, because they’re all over these pages. It would come glaring into light how much under my skin they are, exposing the very stitches that hold together my tacky faux velvet costume dress, and it would be a betrayal of sorts, but a wonderful coming out as well, and I wish nothing more, little darling, sugar chicken, blue honey bun for you to have your eyes on me, right now, quite like this.

Like the drummer in Spinal Tap

Jeez, it has only been, well 9 days, and not to mention I is a full time student and do-nothinger, and blogging can really get in the way of that. (HAHAHA)

Let's see major development in my life; I am slowly weaning off my two mugs of bournvita a day. See pehle, there was simply no point waking up in the morning if I didn't have the milk, because well, it awakens one, just like a bath..and usually I'd have an afternoon nap and then I'd need milk again the evening to wake me up. For those time periods when we were shifting and between houses and there was no one to dutifully give me my milk, I had to make it myself, but somehow, it would always turn out terrible with fat spots dancing in it in quite a disgusting way. I haven't always had this love affair with my milk, believe me. Plenty of plants have flourished because of the wonderful calcium supplements that were surreptiously poured into it. These days ofcourse Buddy benefits. Anyway I have started having either coffee or tea in the evning, and it is helping me tremondously in the sense that I seem to be less sleepy. (ofcourse this is not including the two cups of chai in college, whole different story)

My internet speed, which would be a good graph of my happiness index, have returned to normal. This has left me with mixed feelings as there are no more 300kbps freak streaks with movies (in the plural) getting downloaded within hours. Blissful times they were, yet they could just as quickly slow down to a crawl, and I would sit despondently wacthing it go from 0.2, 0.3, 5.6! 3.2, 2.1 (oh come on buck up) 0.3, 0.1, your movie will take 5 years now, meh.

So I is having to go furniture shopping now for bedside tables. My sister and me have been at each others throats because apparently the light doesn't let her sleep at night and we have rediscovered an ingenious thing called the bedside lamp, so bedside tables first. Ofcourse since this was MY problem I have to go pick them and cart them over..makes perfect sense.

One delightful thing that I found in the Duty Shop were 200 packs of doublemint and I have been making a strand of its wrappers while watching movies. Remember Sandra Bullock in the drug rehab movie, 28 days? Just like that yea, and it is MOST fun, it flips out prettily in my hand. However, my urge to interwine the wrappers is faster than my desire to chew gum (more of a polo person) so there are a lot of inner silvery wrapper, shady looking strips lying around..

and now you wonder why you ask for a blog post.

No Email Today!

Why is it that I can never be on time? I will sit and watch the clock ticking but I simply cannot keep a date. Like for example, today I woke up after a pretty late night and was kinda sleepy but not really at around 9. Called up to fix up to meet with my cousin at 10:30 so I had a good hour and a half, but something in my brain doesn't register this, and I act like I have two hours, minus of geting ready and getting there. So I flipped through Micro a bit, because early morning study time - best time but alas that wasn't to be. Had left the internet on all night so three movies had got downloaded (The Visitor, Manufactured Landscapes and The Wind that Shakes the Barley) none of which I was burning to see so put it off to give the computer a little break, that hardworking fellow. I flip through the TIME, which must be pounced upon before Buddy snatches it, and leisurely dilly dally over what I don't know..and then I go for my bath at 10:30 sheesh.



See, I hate going out, I just don't know what to do/wear. The thing is that my friend, a close one, I don't have too many (friends), so the ones I have I care about a lot and are pretty close too, is having this Hallooween/Birthday party tonight and usually I would say no without thinking, but anyway, have decided to go and I must go get dressed. The thing is that her friends are all gonna be dressed up as thosee bunny-sexy haloween types you know, and that is just. not. me. Hopefully I won't be a total klutz. And who the eff started hallowee



But good news folks, I have purachsed a BRAND NEW EXTERNAL HARD DISK! My life is joyous again, because computer was really cramming up and it makes no sense putting tv shows on cds not to mention the pain and hard work it is.



Indeed yes, and things at college are pretty chill, our professors have been striking consistently, and that gives rise to many free lectures!



Riveting, but more later.